My Story
At age fourteen, I lost the vision in my left eye. Along with intense headaches and eye pain, my colorful, jubilant world soon turned into bleak blackness. I was rushed to the hospital where I had a number of MRI’s and even a spinal tap. I ended up at the University of Utah Hospital in front of this doctor who was about to tell me a prognosis that would change my life forever. I can still remember that day, I hung on every word she spoke. Finally she said, "There is no brain tumor, thankfully, but we do have an idea of what’s wrong." She spoke for what seemed like hours with words that terrified and stung my heart. At the end of all her explaining, the conclusion was unclear. There were a few things it could be. The diagnosis they were leaning towards the most is called Optic Neuritis. This disease is a pre-curser to Multiple Sclerosis (M.S.), they told me that after Optic Neuritis is confirmed, patients have a 50 percent chance of getting M.S. within five years, with that percentage growing higher in the next seven to ten years. I will never forget that feeling of total helplessness when I heard that news. Images of the things I love to do: jumping on the trampoline with my nieces and nephews, running with my friends, riding the waves behind my boat in the sunshine, all passed before me, and I felt terrible. If I was going to get M.S. and those activities were taken away, how could I survive? The knowledge that I not only had to deal with losing my vision, but with losing my motor skills as well, was devastating.
As a young girl I had never been afraid of anything. I had always possessed confidence and optimism. These new changes in my life caused me to be the total opposite, fearful and forlorn. Luckily for me, my sister saw my change of attitude and wrote me a life changing letter. In it she simply told me to choose to be happy. She told me to above all, believe in myself. She reminded me no situation could control my attitude and outlook on life. That decision was mine alone to make. She suggested that I concentrate on serving those less fortunate than I, and that my uncheerful attitude could change, if I would let it. I had no idea of the ride I was about to take. I was completely unaware that losing my sight would cause a upheaval that would shape my perception and character forever. The knowledge that I could develop M.S. made me realize how precious life is. Because of my sister’s example, I felt the need to do everything I could to live my best life, and accomplish everything I wanted to while I still had the physical ability to do so. For this reason, I held back my tears and placed a big smile on my face, a smile I promised to never let leave!
I took her wisdom and made it a personal goal to touch as many lives as I could while I still had the physical ability to do so. I engulfed myself in service. Everywhere I went I looked for opportunities to make other’s lives better, whether it was as simple as a smiling face to talk to, or as complex as organizing a community project; I stayed constantly involved in service. To my amazement, the worries and thoughts of sadness that had plagued me vanished. I was able to totally focus my efforts on those less fortunate than I.
Over five years have passed, and I am doing great. I still have the occasional MRI and visit to the university hospital, but my life truly is amazing. Everyday I wake up and take the time to be thankful for my sight and everything else I have in my life. My struggle has encouraged me to be my best self. I never take anything for granted. Whether it’s the smell outside right after its rains, the beautiful sight of a sunset or the taste of my mother’s homemade cookies, I take the time to stop and savor the moment. I make sure I have a positive attitude and a smile on my face wherever I go. I now understand that through serving others, I can overcome any obstacle in my life. Because of my sister being a mentor/example in my life, I now feel that my illness has been the best thing that could have ever happened to me, and I know that I would not be who I am today without this experience. I wouldn’t trade it for the world!